What a fragile time this is, and if you’re anticipating AND dreading the new year—you’re in good company.
Uncertainties keep mounting. I hope this will be helpful as you approach the end of a crazy year, or perhaps even another lockdown.
How To Deal This Week: This post will provide a roundup of everyday habits that have been helping clients the most in 2020.
What’s working now?
- Reasonable expectations: this is the biggest. Lower the bar. It’s okay—productivity is a flimsy idol. Forgive yourself and others and best laid plans that go awry. If you are frequently let down with disappointment or flattened by complications (Recounts? Smoke? Power outages? Broken appliances? Teachers who drop homework at 3:30pm on a Friday? 😈), then you haven’t been paying attention enough this year to just how impossible it is to plan and execute. Start now!
- Focus on the basics of well-being: sleep enough, but not too much or at weird times. (Please talk to me if you have sleep problems—they can usually be fixed in just a few sessions and NO you don’t have to give up coffee!) Exercise—especially outside and in the sun. Use caffeine strategically (2 hours after waking, not when anxious). Meditate. Not for everyone but great for those who can.
- Make social plans, even though it’s complicated in a pandemic. We can still see most of our friends! Just outside, wearing a mask etc. Remember your people are out there. With a little extra planning, people get a *great* return on this investment of time. Even hopping on a dreaded optional social zoom usually leaves people happier than before.
- Noting pain points throughout the day—and actually solving them. Figure out what the daily tussle is, (with yourself, or with others) and how to make it better. Use critical thinking skills. Involve other family members. Recruit a therapist. Don’t suffer the same struggles each day.
- Kids need other kids, but they aren’t sick of family and parent time as much as you’d think. Really. Even teens I know say their favorite activities are games and movies with their parents.
- Our default tendencies/habits/vices get magnified. Loneliness, drinking, scrolling, OCD, relationship issues. What’s yours? Use Dr Fogg’s tiny habit approach to avoid getting in too deep with these.
Recap: What’s Working, End of 2020 Edition. What Matters To You Today?
What matters to you in the next 45 days? This is different than what you have to do, or what you’d like to know. Is it important to stay informed? Stay offline? Stay focused on something else? No matter what, keep your optimism. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)reminds us to maintain a positive, productive belief system and solve problems as they come. Don’t expect to stay focused (or calm) if you check the news frequently. Take a walk in the [newfound] morning sun. Make plans to see a friend outside or on a zoom date. Avoid typical battles with your household—save them for another day. Play a family game before or after dinner. Think about a good habit you want to create.
We are battle-weary this year. But we can still be happy, take care of each other (and issues we care about) when we take care of the basics first. CBT still works no matter what the next few months bring.
We at Loyal Blue are happy to help you and yours, let’s dive into this next chapter together.
