From time to time, we are weighed down with something that is heavy: a worry, a relationship, or a nagging issue that keeps us returning to the same thoughts over and over again. Most people with anxiety discover that the content they worry over is less important than the active process that keeps them tied in the loop of anxiety. So therapy tries to break up the process through self-awareness and coping strategies.
Cognitive therapy is our most effective tool to address the thought process behind our recurring worries.
Here’s why it’s in the toolbox of so many therapists:
- It’s effective
- The results are long-term
- It’s simple to understand (though not easy and takes practice)
- It’s applicable in some way with nearly every issue
One perspective we use when talking with clients about their problems are identifying thoughts from 3 angles:
- Thoughts about yourself
- Thoughts about the future
- Thoughts about the world around you
Does one of these areas have more pervasive negativity, or anxiety, than another? We can unlock a lot of mystery that sounds our feelings, and discover what areas we might be experiencing cognitive distortions.
It’s time to do some spring cleaning and update our thoughts!
The application of cognitive therapy involves seeing life as a series of events that are neither good nor bad; instead what we tell ourselves about these events that gives them meaning and “makes” us happy, sad, jealous, etc. However it is NOT just positive thinking. It is productive thinking. Cognitive therapy shows us that even with something objectively bad (loss of a loved one, poor performance at school or work…anything that you deem as negative) may be true but it is not helpful to continue to ruminate on it. It is not productive to continue the messaging at certain times of the day. So using cognitive therapy gives you tools to pivot when needed.
Here are some examples:
- The A’s and the Red Sox play a baseball game. The A’s win. Are you happy or sad?
- You got a B- on your math test. Are you pleased or disappointed?
- The phone rings. It’s your mother. Are you glad?
These are all just “events”…but depending on which team you are rooting for, what you expect from yourself on a math test, and your relationship with your mom at any given time-these will determine your mood-NOT the event itself.
To further illustrate this point: your mother could call me and I would have totally different feelings about the phone call than you would. Therefore, it’s not necessarily your mother; it’s YOU and your thoughts about her! (Even if your mom is objectively a great person, as I’m sure she is, you are still allowed to have whatever feelings you want. You just have to pay attention to when they become unproductive or self-defeating).
This is a pretty simple view of cognitive therapy, but we get into the really interesting stuff when examining how some of a client’s automatic thoughts have turned into core beliefs. We discover outdated beliefs about who they are and the people around them. These beliefs are often limiting their potential in some way. We realize how powerful every single thought can be, and how much control we really have.
Loyal Blue therapists are trained in cognitive therapy and we use it frequently for self-defeating thoughts. You can view and download our basic thought chart exercise from our Resources page.
