How To Recover From Burnout & Cultivate Joy

Are we having fun yet? It’s most fun-loving season of the year – summer!! Except, do you struggle when you finally get time off? Perhaps you’re just gearing up, or already in the midst of summer plans. If you’re the type who finds it hard to relax, we are here to help you rediscover. The unfortunate reality for many hard-working, high-achieving people is:

Sometimes we really struggle to have a good time. 

The transitioning from a season of grinding and hard work into a more easy-breezy time of life can be difficult. If we’re burned out, the body just can’t seem to relax and get out of go-go-go mode, and the nervous system may even feel uneasy… is it okay to be unproductive? Or sometimes, even if we let ourselves rest and relax, we notice that we really aren’t—We experience anhedonia – a symptom often connected to depression, burn-out, or anxiety where we feel detached from our experience of joy and pleasure. 

We may feel so starved for enjoyment that we try to plan, push, and pressure ourselves into having more fun, which prompts disappointment and anxiety and is decidedly unfun. And then there’s the dreaded FOMO–feeling like everyone but us is having an amazing time. 

With all these potential pitfalls, it’s no wonder that having fun is not as easy as it sounds. Do we truly know how to have fun? What does that even mean? Are we having fun yet? 

It can be pretty easy to overthink yourself out of having a good time. So, in that light, let’s spend some time demystifying fun just a bit to hopefully get you back to enjoying your vacation (or your lunch hour). 

What does it mean to have fun?

Fun is a subjective concept, so the first place to look for it is within. Spend some time writing about or sharing stories with a loved one about three times where you thought to yourself, THIS IS FUN! What did those moments have in common? What did you most enjoy, and why did you enjoy it? 

While what it means to have fun may differ dramatically from person to person, some people have tried to define it. Science journalist Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun, defines fun as a combination of playfulness, connection, and flow. 

Playfulness does not require silliness, jokes, or playing games, though it could be all three of these. It is more about approaching things lightly and finding something amusing or pleasant in each moment. Playfulness is an attitude that can be employed at any time, as opposed to fun, which we think of as more a result, making it more elusive and difficult to turn on at will. 

Connection is about feeling close to the people around you, which can often occur through a shared experience or a shared understanding. We can also cultivate connection with nature or with ourselves. 

Flow is about presence–have you ever done something where you felt truly in the zone, and time passed quickly without you realizing it because you were so immersed in what you are doing? If so, you were in a flow state. 

According to Price, when we are able to achieve these three mental states at the same time, the result is fun. With these criteria in mind, see if you can remember more fun times you’ve had, highlighting what about them was playful, connective, or in flow.

Okay, but still, how can we have more fun?

First, spend some time brainstorming and make a Fun List. 

• What do you or have you truly enjoyed doing? 
• What are activities you’ve always wanted to learn or try? 
• What are things you enjoyed doing as a child? 
• If tomorrow, you didn’t have access to a phone, computer, or TV but you did have access to anything else, what would you spend your time doing? 
• What makes you feel alive? 
• What are moments when you felt playful? 
• What are moments when you felt connection? 
• What are moments where you’ve been in a flow state? 
• Put them all together, and what have you got?

If you’re like me, you might find yourself having A LOT OF FUN making this list. (We’re a special type, Type As!) Now, you’re ready for the next step. 

Make Time For Fun

As unfun as this may sound, if you are not in the habit of having fun, you will likely have to schedule it into your day. You have to practice trying things and making time for fun. So, put something fun on your to do list every day. Add it to your calendar. Write yourself a reminder or set a “fun alarm.” These are all ways of showing yourself that fun is a priority to you. 

At first, you may find that your attempts at fun are not that fun, but that does not mean you should stop planning and designing them. When you’ve experienced burnout or stress, it takes practice to find haven’t found the sweet spot that leads to joy for you today. But perhaps the very same activities will yield more fun tomorrow, or perhaps you’ll find something you enjoy doing more. Be persistent. Adding a fun activity to your To Do list is an antidote to burnout because it helps us reconnect with joy and meaningfulness outside of work while also giving us the tiny dopamine boost that we get from feeling accomplished, the feeling we get when we check something off our list. This also helps to remind us that fun and play are not frivolous–they are a needed part of a healthy and balanced approach to life. 

Why Have Fun 

So much of what we do in life is about productivity and achievement, but true fun can be a release from that mindset. What if we give ourselves permission to do something, not because we are good at it or because we want to accomplish something, but just because we want to–for a lark, for a laugh, for the fun of it? Taking time to have fun sends a message to ourselves that we don’t have to be in a perpetual state of striving. Allowing yourself to stop and do something for no other purpose than to enjoy it is a way of saying to yourself–I don’t need refining, fixing, changing, or growing–I accept myself just the way I am, and I deserve to have a good time! 

The FUN LIST of a Loyal Blue Therapist

• Roller coasters
• Old school arcades
• Roller skating rinks
• Hikes with friends
• Swimming under a waterfall, in the river, or a lake
• Exploring a new city
• Dancing freely as if no one is watching
• Playing charades
• Watching a cheesy movie as a group and sharing our commentary
• Doing arts and crafts together
• Telling stories at the campfire
• Watching the stars and teaching each other or making up constellations
• Having a group sing-a-long

Loyal Blue can help you set aside your stress and focus on relaxation and joy when you get the change! Book a free consult with one of our therapists.

By: Emmy Spencer, LMFT