Most of us are in our summer season by now. So this month we’re talking about how to take advantage of summer’s natural uplifting effects. Whether it is the longer days, more flexible routines, or being active with other people, summer can help jumpstart some positive mental health routines that will put some well-being “in the bank” for the rest of the year.
Instead Of Screen Time, Use Boredom As A Teacher
Boredom is a common refrain in households with kids…and in adults it can present as a restlessness during downtime. When we are standing in line at the grocery store or waiting for someone to show up for a coffee date, we pull out our phone. Kids are now used to doing the same, except it’s all. The. Time.
Boredom is a feeling state, and one that most of us in modern times consider unpleasant. We may believe we need to be productive. Or else we want to be entertained. Sometimes we want to avoid thinking about something difficult or avoid feeling something complicated. All of these are reasons we use screens.
However boredom is potential. It is an invitation to pivot to something potentially fulfilling or meaningful. And remember, meaningful is in the eye of the beholder! We suggest the following:
Help kids understand the difference between boredom as a feeling, and other feelings that might be present, like sadness, feeling left out, or disappointment.
- 5 and under: a list of ideas, complete with materials and a set amount of minimum time to do these activities.
- Elementary school: a list of ideas created with your child, a set amount of minimum time to engage, as well as some freedom to be outside or in a different room and make a mess. For example, let them follow a recipe in the kitchen without fear of making a mess, or create a game in the backyard with a sibling.
- Middle and high school: Provide similar materials as you would to younger kids, but actively have them check into a phone-free time every day. A friend can come over, or let them walk somewhere in town or at a library to explore, or…take them to a sporting good store, an art supply store, the grocery store for baking supplies…help them remember what interests them and provide them the same materials you would if they were younger.
Screen time is a big topic and we will talk more about it in a future post. 🙂
The basic idea is to not see boredom as the enemy, and to put some hard boundaries around when you or your people can be on screens. Try to build capacity so that you can endure bored moments or bored family members, because creativity, decompression, and flow are all possible byproducts of feeling bored.
Use The Sun
The longest days of the year are here, and this means you have a natural opportunity to boost serotonin. This is a neurotransmitter (a chemical that carries messages from your brain to other parts of the body) that is an essential part of our emotional regulation, sleep-wake cycle, memory, and stress response.
Daylight is one of the most powerful natural antidepressants we have. So use it in the summer:
Get into light after you first get up: sit by a window, walk the dog, have coffee on the porch.
Take an afternoon walk at work instead of your usual desk break.
Help your kids get outside for several hours every day. This could be after dinner, as part of summer camp, or just playing a board game on a lunch break outside.
Even foggy mornings are better than being inside without natural light. 🙂 Check out this article from Harvard Health on serotonin.
Find Flexibility However You Can
Many structured people dread summer with kids on the loose, teamwork hard to pin down at the office because of vacations, and kids who think they should “only go to bed when it’s dark.” (How did this become a thing? Don’t teach your preschoolers this!)
However, flexibility is one of our two core principles that run through ALL mentally healthy people. In fact, it is so important we’ve written about it multiple times on our blog. So how can we use summer to improve our ability to be flexible?
First, call attention to what matters about summer for you.
Summer requires us to adapt to changes in routine. We often choose changes in our environments (vacations), put ourselves in simple but lots-of-planning situations (camping), and rely on our flexibility to get us through the day. Just appreciating our own flexibility on these days and in these situations is helpful. Some other ways you can work on your flexibility:
- Wear something new that feels summery to you, even if you’re just working at home.
- Have a meal outside, or have an unusual meal (breakfast for dinner, or a picnic) that feels out-of-the-ordinary.
- Let the kids stay up late to do something special as a family (watch fireworks, go swimming, get ice cream, visit with friends). No screens allowed!
Try to see the bigger picture of what matters in your life or family and remind yourself of that when you need to be okay with flexibility. For example, running late is a signal to teach and improve systems at home…don’t let it bring your household mood down when it’s already happening. The bigger picture is that family harmony may be more important that timeliness.
(Or…maybe your family is actually prioritizing timeliness! In which case create flexibility around what gets done in order to serve that goal. Maybe you grab a bar instead of breakfast or skip something else in order to stay flexible but meet your priority).
If you’re unsure what matters this summer, we recommend choosing relationships. Prioritize friendships, family time and family harmony, gathering with others. These will almost always be the most fulfilling times that create memories and provide the essentials to a well-lived life.
If you can lean into summer’s natural ability to bring more light, flexibility, and boredom then you will have harnessed some of this season’s best gifts!
