If you are in relatively good health, perhaps you don’t pay too much attention to research from Harvard Medical School that details how our friends and family influence our health choices. Smoking and being of larger size are two markers associated with our social group.
For example, with a habit like smoking, one study followed more than 12,000 people over 32 years. Authors concluded, among other things, that quitting smoking is contagious-and success depends to a large extent on a broadened view of our social network. Even two or three degrees of separation influence a habit like smoking. People quit in clusters, and the effect trickles down.
This kind of social psychology is interesting because it reminds us about the interconnectedness of our lives. We are probably friends with our friends because we share things in common…but how often to we think about the ways which people in our lives affect us emotionally and influence our habits?
If you have children, what activities and people are are they spending time with, and how does this affect their behavior?
Our Social Circle, Our Habits
Our network of friends, family, and coworkers has profound influence over us both in ways we know and ways of which we are completely unaware. Have you ever drawn a map of who’s in your circle?
Make three lists of people you encounter in your life. Include in-person, email exchanges, and telephone calls:
- Make a list of everyone you interact with daily
- Make a second list of everyone you interact with weekly
- Make a third of everyone you interact with only monthly
What kinds of people are in your regular network and when interacting with them, do you feel better about the world? What habits do the people around you have and what opinions do they hold? For instance, would you exercise more if the people in your life did? Do you eat fast food or keep up with reality TV because those around you do? Are their qualities ones that you emulate, seek to avoid, or hope to absorb?
Seek Out Those You Admire
What kind of people do you need more of in your life? I often describe to my teen clients how important it is to grow a “garden” of a variety of friends. We know how susceptible teens are to influence from their peers. As adults do we really think we are any different?
Over the years I have worked with a lot of children, both as a therapist and in sports and at summer camp. Pay attention to the kids who demonstrate qualities you admire. We can learn from each other and support each other by intentionally surrounding ourselves with people whom we admire.
Read a recent summary about taking back our health including the psychosocial connection of habits at here at NPR as well as here.
