College can be a time of immense growth, independence, and new experiences. However, it also presents new and unique challenges that can make it difficult to find a healthy balance between school, social life and self care. One crucial skill that can significantly improve your well-being is boundary setting. When you know your limits, you can help protect yourself from situation depression, anxiety, poor sleep or nutrition, and more!
As Nedra Tawwab, renowned therapist, author and boundary setting extraordinaire, emphasizes, “Boundaries are not about being selfish; they’re about self-respect.” By establishing clear boundaries, you can protect your mental, emotional, and physical health, foster healthier relationships, and achieve your goals.
Boundary 1: Time Management Boundaries
Whether it’s the first week of school, dead week or anywhere in between, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and scattered. Setting time management boundaries is essential to preventing burnout and ensuring that you have enough time for everything that is on your plate.
Here are some practical tips for setting time management boundaries:
- Create a Daily or Weekly Schedule: Set aside specific time slots for studying, socializing, hobbies, and self-care. Having a calendar or planner, or using the one on your phone (since let’s be honest, you know you always have it on you) to schedule your daily activities can help you take the guesswork out of your schedule and create a feeling of consistency.
- Prioritize Tasks: It can be easy to focus on tasks based on their ease or how much you want to do them, but prioritizing them based on when they need to be done can save you a headache later. I know if I had it my way I would have put off studying for my Calculus class as long as possible, despite my exam being in two days, and focus on a more interesting paper from my Sociology class that wasn’t due for another three weeks – but that usually leads to 2 am cramming sessions at the library and some stress induced, math filled nightmares.
- Learn to Say No: Don’t hesitate to decline additional commitments if you’re already feeling overwhelmed. Whether it’s signing up for a fun sounding Decal class, joining a club, or going out for Thursday night trivia – you won’t always have time for everything, and that’s fine. Saying no to things to prioritize yourself is really just saying yes to you and your well being.
Boundary 2: Interpersonal Boundaries
Setting emotional boundaries involves recognizing and respecting your own emotional needs, as well as setting limits with others who have access to us, especially people who may be emotionally draining.
Here are some strategies for setting emotional boundaries:
- Communicate Assertively: Express your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. Learning to clearly express ourselves is a major life skill. You can practice by using “I” statements or writing out what you want to say ahead of time to help you prepare.
- Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that help you manage stress and maintain emotional well-being. No matter how busy classes, Greek life, clubs etc get – you can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Limit Contact With People Who Regularly Make You Feel Bad: If certain people consistently bring you down, are mean to you, or leave you feeling drained after interactions, consider limiting your interactions with them. Creating boundaries around who you spend your time with can have a huge impact on your mental health (and your energy levels).
- Get Support: Asking for help is key to caring for ourselves. Reach out to friends and family, access your schools counseling services, or get one on one therapeutic help.
Boundary 3: Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries are essential tools to protect your space, maintain your well-being, and foster healthy relationships. Your body is your home, and just as you lock your dorm room door to ensure privacy, you need to set boundaries to protect your physical and emotional health.
Here are some tips for setting physical boundaries:
- Respecting Personal Space: Be mindful of others’ boundaries and communicate your own clearly. This applies to everything from maintaining a comfortable distance in conversations to setting limits on physical contact. Whether it’s in your shared dorm room, or at the party you’re at – you are entitled to your personal space and advocating for your boundaries to be respected is major self care.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that promote physical health, such as exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness and sufficient sleep. It can be easy to forget about taking care of ourselves when we’re focused on midterms and applying for internships but caring for our physical body is essential to our happiness.
Boundary 4: Digital Boundaries
In this day and age, it’s crucial to set boundaries around our online activities. This includes limiting screen time, managing social media usage, and knowing when it’s time to unplug.
Here are some strategies for setting digital boundaries:
- Set Screen Time Limits: Determine how much time you want to spend on screens each day and stick to it (and don’t keep hitting that “Remind Me in 15 Minutes” button, yeah I see you).
- Mindful Social Media Usage: Be aware of how social media affects your mood and well-being. It is so easy to get trapped in doom scrolling or comparisons on social media, and there is nothing wrong with unfollowing or limiting interactions accounts that leave you feeling crappy. (And yeah, it’s okay to mute that person from your OChem class that keeps posting about how easy all the assignments are, you don’t need to see that everyday!)
- Take Breaks from Technology: I’m not suggesting you break up with your iPhone, but occasionally leaving it in your drawer and going for a walk can sometimes feel like it works miracles. It’s hard to avoid screens totally, we take notes on them, we do our assignments on them,
we online shop during class on themthey are pretty ubiquitous in our lives so that does mean occasionally making the conscious decision to set that tech boundary and putting them away.
Conclusion: Boundaries are the core of self-care
Setting boundaries is a vital skill for all of us to develop. By establishing clear boundaries, you can protect your mental, emotional, and physical health, foster healthier relationships, and achieve your goals. Remember, boundaries are not about being selfish; they’re about self-respect and self-care.
“If you think about it, the root of self-care is setting boundaries: it’s saying no to something in order to say yes to your own emotional, physical, and mental well-being.” — Nedra Tawwab
If you’re struggling to set or maintain boundaries, consider trying a few sessions with one of our therapists.
